PART ii: Examining How to Ask for What We Need

Part I was about WHY it’s so hard to ask others for what we need. When we examine this question, the first one that may arise is: how do I know what my needs are? I’ve been ignoring them for so long, I’m not sure I even know what to ask for.  

First, acknowledge that it’s ok to have needs. When you deny your own needs for so long, starting to acknowledge them can bring up guilt, doubt, and issues of deserving.   Permission slips are good to use for this purpose.  Give yourself permission to acknowledge and pursue your needs.   Why? Permission slips give us the green light and make it easier to "break" the societal/cultural/familial ruleswe feel like we're breaking if we pursue unmet needs. 

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Part I: Asking for what we need

Wouldn't it be great if people were as intuitive as animals?  They always seem to know when you need a cuddle, reassurance, or an overly enthusiastic greeting.  But people can't read our minds, as much as we think they should be able to if they really knew us.  Not the case though: they don't always intuitively know what we need.  They are not mind readers.  It gets even harder when we expect them to and we're constantly let down. 

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