Men are socialized with these rules growing up in American culture:
Don't cry | Don't be seen as weak | Your worthiness is based on your achievements and your bank account | Don't talk about feelings | Be strong | Masculinity is based on strength, stoicism, and and perseverance.
So, it's no wonder that men who don't subscribe to these rules or feel that they don't measure up to the requirements struggle. But there is nowhere to talk about the struggle because that isn't masculine.
There is not a place to be vulnerable and open to discussing things that men don't really talk about but need to.
This is why I've led a Daring Way™ for Men before and want to offer it again. It's a safe and structured space to explore issues related to vulnerability, not feeling good enough, shame, unworthiness, and comparison. To figure out what connection means for them and to experience emotional connection with other men in a way that is genuine and not metrics based. The investment in this group offers dividends with confidence at work, presence in relationships, and a feeling of self-worth and intrinsic value.
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What is The Daring Way™?
The Daring Way™ is a group for people who are holding back from fully living their lives. They may feel afraid to show up for something that triggers anxiety, such as an interview for their dream job, a conversation with the love of their life, a conversation about a raise, a tough relationship with a family member, a new reality after divorce, etc.
We don’t show up for scary things in our lives because we’re afraid of what will happen if we fail, or if it doesn’t go well. Modus operandi is to avoid, and then avoid some more. We’re afraid of what our self-talk will say as we get closer to the event: Who do you think you are? What makes you so special? Why do you think you'll be successful now? Oh, don't bother.
The Daring Way™ provides a method to work through the issues that get in the way of showing up for these hard things, these difficult events, or those anxiety-provoking conversations in our lives.
Read the blog post: Courage is a Heart Word: How The Daring Way Changed my Life
So… what’s the method?
A combination of curriculum content presented through videos, group and individual written and creative exercises, and homework to address how to SHOW UP, BE SEEN, and LIVE BRAVE™ in your life.
Upon completing the The Daring Way™, members:
Understand the components involved in stepping into uncertainty in their choices, and feel ready to do just that. Fearlessness is not the goal; but being able to call on one's own courage in the face of fear is.
Can finally say with conviction, "I'm imperfect and I'm enough," because they understand that perfectionism is based on what other people think and is not internally motivated.
Will gain the knowledge and skills to cultivate joy, meaningful connection, love, and belonging (what we all want from life).
Will feel relief in not having to use productivity as a benchmark for self-worth. Because worthiness is not conditional.
Will gain peace of mind by shutting down the internal negativity and preoccupation about what others think, run by the ever present inner critic.
Will have templates and practice in identifying their values and asking for what they need.
What The Daring Way™ is not:
A quick fix: all of the skills, strategies, and tools are practices, which means we have to learn them and integrate them into our lives. Brené herself is transparent in her own struggles to practice the tools and guideposts to Wholehearted Living.
A gimmick: this is a way of living, loving, leading, and parenting that helps you to function as your most authentic and courageous self.
A Confessional: Sitting around with a group of people whining about feelings, making confessions, or standing in front of a group of people talking by yourself.
+ All materials: workbook, token items according to curriculum topic
+ Videos, individual and group written and creative exercises
+ Group discussion
+ Individual session with Anya to review and discuss individual progress and questions
More About The Daring Way™
The Daring Way™ is a highly experiential methodology based on the research of Dr. Brené Brown. The method was designed for work with individuals, couples, families, work teams, and organizational leaders. During the process, we explore topics such as vulnerability, courage, shame, and worthiness. We examine the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that are holding us back and we identify the new choices and practices that will move us toward more authentic and wholehearted living. The primary focus is on developing shame resilience skills and developing daily practices that transform the way we live, love, parent, and lead.