Midlife Crisis?

Things in your life just feel like they are falling apart, and you are tired of managing it alone.  You hesitate to call it a midlife crisis, but it kind of is.  The burdens of life are falling on your shoulders-- you have to care for your children, worry about your parents, manage employees, and barely have time to care for yourself.  It's just too much. 

You’ve recently had a big life change (a divorce you didn’t see coming, children going off to college, the death of a parent) and you're picking up the pieces while everyone else continues to live their lives.  You feel unclear about what your role is now that things have shifted in your life.  Who am I, really, you wonder...

You may have pictured things being different by now.  When you've evaluated your life at an age milestone, as many often do,  you have not been where you wanted to be. You are ready to make a big change in your life but you're stuck on how to make that happen.  You don't know if you will ever be "good enough."


You feel stuck.  You've had a feeling that something has to change and you can't keep living your life as it is.  You've played by the rules, you've done all the right things, you've checked off all the right boxes, but you're still unsatisfied with your life.  This can't be all there is.  There's that voice in the back of your head that is starting to question what you're doing and where you're going with your life.


You've had career success, you've scaled the corporate ladder, but you're finding it's lonely at the top. You look around and find that others are living their seemingly full, happy lives and you have no one to come home to.   You work incredibly hard and long hours at home or in the office.  You are separated from your family, your children, or your friends what seems like all the time.  In your down time, you may just want to hide under the covers, anesthetize yourself with wine, netflix, a book, carbs..  You want to connect but you also just want to be alone.  



You feel overwhelmed, anxious, and panicky about how you’re going to act like you’re fine when you’re crumbling inside.   It's hard to fake it through conversations when you constantly have that lump in your throat that could turn into a full-blown cry at any minute.  Your life has been turned upside down and you don't know what to do first.  

The Comparison

It's so easy to get caught up in comparing your station in life to your friends'.  How are they managing and you're not?  Why don't these things happen to others they way they happen to you.  Many say that comparison is the thief of happiness.  Does this ring true for you?


This wasn't the way it was supposed to be.  You thought things were fine and going along "as planned."  Until this other shoe dropped and now your life is in a shambles.  You are confused, in shock, and actually grieving the life you had before this happened.

Instead of a midlife crisis, it's helpful to see it as a midlife passage or a midlife awakening.  

This is an opportunity to engage with the big questions: who am I? What are my values? What gives my life meaning?

You can meet your true self. You can become your own person.  Take control of your own life.

You have arrived at the point where you are ready to embrace the change and shake things up.

Hi! I’m Anya, and I’m here to help.  I want to help you embrace your power and drop the charade that everything is fine. Maybe everything is not fine and here, you don't have to pretend.  I want you to know that you have a safe place to land to sort through the muck of this time.  I want you to know that you have permission to changeTo create new rules to live by.  To discover what else is out there for you.   Awaken to other relationships.  Another career.  Other countries.  Other interests or hobbies.  Another home.  You get the idea.  You are allowed to welcome new things into your life.  It's not too late.

I want you to be able to attend to your yearnings without shame, guilt, or embarrassment.  I want you to feel proud of who you are and the wisdom you've gathered versus feeling like you've left things on the table.  There is a way to handle your feelings without numbing, hiding, freaking out, or having the clichéd midlife crisis.  It is possible to redefine your identity.  It's never too late. 

You will learn to cultivate the confidence to be in the driver’s seat of your own life.  

Photo by Paul Bradbury/OJO Images / Getty Images
Photo by Paul Bradbury/OJO Images / Getty Images