Can we examine obligation?

What do you do out of obligation that you’d otherwise decline? How much of your time does that take up?

We act out of obligation automatically, without stopping to evaluate the decision. The truth is, there is a choice, there is an option. The opposition to this idea is: “but I have to.” “I should do this because…”

When we feel boxed in and like we don’t have a choice, we are operating in a scarcity mindset. What does that mean and how is that connected? Scarcity mindset encompasses many things, but primarily says that nothing is ever enough. Not caring enough. Not successful enough. Not enough time. Not thin enough. Not nice enough.

What does scarcity mindset lead to? Competitiveness, comparison, judgment, shame, blame, fear, anger and holding grudges, an idea that there are finite resources/choices, and an absence of self-knowledge. When we’re always seeking more because we never have enough, there is not a sense of being present with what is. It’s fear and future based without regard for what’s right in front of us.

What do we do instead? Move towards an abundance mindset. We are enough. We have enough. We have choices. We don’t have to act out of fear, we can embrace change, we can support others’ success because it is not a competition. There is enough success and joy for everyone. We can share with others and learn from them without feeling inadequate.

Is this possible? Yes! How? It’s a loaded question, but we can start with self-awareness of how fear and scarcity are running our lives. We can start to build courage to set boundaries instead of acting out of obligation. This means letting go of feeling responsible for others’ feelings, experiences, or opinions. Letting go of control.

This sounds very scary. Like-- how am I supposed to drive if you take the wheels off of my car?! We opt out of driving as the only way to get there. We have other choices. We give up fear, obligation and guilt and latch onto courage, belief in our own worthiness, and humility.