You are not responsible for others’ feelings and behaviors. They are. We grow up believing we are responsible because others blame us for their pain. “It’s your fault I’m mad.” “If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t feel this way.” “You made me mad/upset.” “You make me crazy.”
→ This makes you believe you are in control of others’ emotions, and you learn that you want to avoid the shame results from another’s blame like the plague. You learn to alter your actions to avoid making someone “mad,” and being perceived as a disappointment or an instigator. Read More
Wouldn't it be great if people were as intuitive as animals? They always seem to know when you need a cuddle, reassurance, or an overly enthusiastic greeting. But people can't read our minds, as much as we think they should be able to if they really knew us. Not the case though: they don't always intuitively know what we need. They are not mind readers. It gets even harder when we expect them to and we're constantly let down. Read More
Digging into self-help can be like wading into a swamp, and may lead some to feel as though they are more stuck than when they started. Wait, aren’t I supposed to be an advocate for personal growth and change? Yes, and I am.
Why does this happen? When we embark on the journey that we’ve been avoiding for so long, we uncover more and more things that we didn’t realize were THINGS. Things to be addressed. Things to feel. Things to talk about. Things to think about. Things to just deal with. Everyday. All the things. It can feel like more weight to carry than less. You may want to scream, I don’t want one more THING to deal with. I know, I know. Read More
Many agreed that they’re just over it--over the behaviors that go along with hustling, the yucky, slimy feelings that come when you know you're in the hustle, the energy drain and exhaustion.
Hustling to prove, perfect, please, placate, perform, and pretend to get approval and acceptance from others takes us out of a place of authenticity, or who we really want to be when we’re aligned with our values. The hustle is exhausting, and what’s even worse, it doesn’t even produce happiness, fulfillment, joy, or connection. Read More